Britain is closed due to 5 inches of snow

I feel obliged to notify you as soon as possible that Britain is closed due to 5 inches of snow. Trains are cancelled; the underground is partially closed; buses are off the road and flights are cancelled from most airports. How does a typical Brit handle this? He gets into his car after shovelling buckets of snow off the roof and windscreen. This, despite the fact his inappropriate tyres for driving in snowy conditions are half-buried in snow and he can barely see where the road is as he drives. It all makes perfect sense. Of course when he hits an invisible kerb and bumps into someone else’s car, he calls the RAC expecting them to send out a rescue team and they gladly oblige. They too arrive driving a vehicle with inappropriate tyres, barely equipped to tow away anything. The whole thing defies logic for anyone who has experienced a number of countries functioning properly despite heavy snow falls every winter. The whingeing by the entire nation is embarrassing. I come to that same conclusion I did in my first year in the UK that the Brits can only have colonised the world by accident rather than by design. They are incapable of doing anything that requires a bit of forward planning.

In February 2009, the Mayor of London (Boris Johnson) was interviewed on the news and asked what Transport for London (TFL) is doing to clear roads and rail tracks. To begin with, he said he had actually cycled to work. Silly man! I have always suspected he is a danger to himself and others – but not to this extent. And then he commended TFL for doing their best considering we have ‘the right kind of snow but the wrong quantities’.  Asked why there are no snow ploughs in the UK , he said they are not a worthwhile investment in the long term. The last time England in particular saw this much snow was several decades ago. So in January 2013, we find ourselves recycling the same excuse from 2009. 

So what to do on a day when the country has ground to a halt? I walk across to the farm, camera in hand, in search of that picture perfect photograph.  I decide to go Canary Wharf afterwards. I am  pleased to find my DLR station still open but feel slightly nervous. The DLR tracks around the Isle of Dogs are suspended on stilts with the little train weaving in between buildings. It’s a long way down if the train slips on ice and plunges to the ground. I focuse instead on the stunning views of snow-laden trees and branches, rooftops – everything white and beautiful and the river weaving in and out everywhere you look. The view is especially breathtaking between Cross Harbour and Heron Quays stations.

A typical London woman does not own a single pair of sensible shoes – I mean anything less than 4 inches high. So on an average day, she is hardly prepared for these adverse weather conditions. We have boots (with high heels), but we wear them in the summer with short-skirts because it looks sexy. When we are practical, we wear ballet bumps made of nonsensical fabric. I find Canary Wharf full of people at lunch time. There are women teetering on their high heels, wearing short skirts and fishnet stockings. Did they not have to walk through the same snow I plodded through to get to work? London women are firm believers that beauty will keep them warm, even in sub-zero conditions. In C. Wharf, some who have made an effort to dress for the weather conditions are walking around in their wellies. We love our wellies in Britain and these days they come in cool colours as well as leopard, zebra and floral prints. This is the only country in the world where wearing wellies to the office is not a criminal offence. The Polish women amongst us are easily visible in their elegant thick-lined coats and accessorised right down to their faux-fur hats and leather gloves. That too looks over the top for London.  Despite this cold spell driven by winds from the North, we are not in Siberia yet!
 

Snowy days always turn into unofficial public holidays. It is such a shame that tomorrow is a Saturday, robbing many of the guilty pleasure of skipping work for a lie-in and walk in the snow later. I decided to return home via my local supermarket. I noticed the older generation Bangladeshi women who usually wear sandals in all types of weather had upgraded to trainers and were slipping and sliding about the place in their traditional dress made of thin cotton fabric. On the way back, I came across a small snowman that someone had built on a footpath.  He is a miserable-looking little fellow but drew a smile from me nonetheless.  I hope he lasts the night because it is awfully cold out there.